The First Cut was the Deepest

I just woke up from what is becoming my routine nap after having procedures. I am more than happy to tell you that today's HSG was a LOT less painful than my hysteroscopy. In fact, The whole thing only took about 3 minutes. No sweat.

I looked and looked all over google for something that told me how painful it was, but I guess describing pain is pretty difficult. Besides, I am not even sure it is noteworthy in retrospect. All the humiliation was still there. Scoot down....further, further. I sometimes think though that I am more embarrassed of my thunder thighs than actually flashing my full frontal. I am not a huge person, but I definitely have some crazy thighs. I was thinking today that man, this doc may not be able to recognize one hoo ha from another, but there is NO WAY he will forget these thighs...

To make it worse, I saw the doc walking down the hall after my procedure and I am telling you, I was stunned at how small his butt was. I mean come on. I just had to bare it all and I have to see that this GUY is my dream size 2? Whatever.

I have a renewed sense of hope now after completing my Hyster and HSG. It's over and now just maybe my RE will give us the green light to get back into trying mode again. It will have been two months since we last tried and even though I am scared to pieces of repeating another chemical pregnancy, I am ready to get closer to the finish line. Or the starting line? Well, the finish line of infertility and the starting line of ...........a word that now is magical and mythical to me at this point....pregnancy.

Btw, this new sense of positive thinking has led me to:

A. Go on Behr.com to check out paint colors for a nursery.(I have found a GORGEOUS shade of fucshia for my little girl.)
B. Actually proceed to checkout with a few new maternity clothes(I didn't buy,)
C.Make a bookmark on my computer for a nursery design idea that I love.
D. Type in my future child's nameon a personalized pacifier website.

So much for the one day at a time thing. I am mentally insane and only feel I can tell you this because I can't see or hear you making that face of "Wow, you is Krazy with a K.) My laptop how now become something I feel like I need to lock up. This is top secret obsession. Nursery photos. I would be less embarrassed of porn I think. That's like way less "krazy".