I love Spring. After the winter we had with almost 80 inches of snow, I am so glad to be getting outside. My tulips are in bloom, the sun is shining(not today actually) and it just feels.. happy. I always forget how much I adore this season until the first few days of it. Even the smell makes me smile.
Brynn is amazing. I think the hardest part about being her mother is restraining from talking about her non stop.. I could do it. Don't tempt me. Every move she makes amazes me! She discovered her voice two weeks ago and talks all day long. I was in a store last week and my mom had her right outside the doors. The entire time I could hear my girl yelling. It's too cute for words. I really mean that. I can't describe the joyfulness in her voice. My girl. Living and breathing and yelling! It was surreal to me while I waited in line. That I can HEAR my child. You would think at some point that I will have accepted that I have a child, but to be honest, I'm still in awe. She'll be 4 months old this weekend. 4 months???? You mean 4 weeks right? The time is flying. I must have read that line from other mamas a million times, but to experience it is insane. I guess it's why everyone talks about it. And here I am talking about it. Like it's never been said before. For those of you still waiting on your miracle, you'll see. Easy for me to say, I know I know. But you will. You will. You'll be writing about how fast time is going by too.
I have to mention that I dress this girl up like a doll. I had a photographer come and do a tutu photo shoot. I mean.. this is girly on crack. Brynn Elizabeth is the first girl in my family in 25 years! And the FIRST in F's family. I plan to doll her up as long as I can. I'm pretty sure I'm forcing her into Tomboyhood. Who cares. She's my Brynn and I love her. .. Oh and she LOVES me too. Listen, I have been an aunt for 28 years!!! SInce I was 5. I LOVE being an aunt. My nephews are so great. The relationship I have with one of them is never to be replaced. HE is my buddy for life. But One thing I love about being a mommy.. and this might be selfish, I love that I am her first choice. I finally get to be the mom. The first pick. The one she'll want when she's hurt, or sad or maybe even happy. She'll want me. All of the time put in raising her will have the greatest pay out. My baby wants me. She can't love me like I love her of course. I'm the fool in love, but I am her mother. God I love that word... now.
How did I get so blessed???? Do I appreciate everything more? Good questions that I guess I'll never really know the answers to. I'm willing to be at peace with that. I have a beautiful little girl. Who just happens to sleep from 7 to 7. Who just hapens to be smiley. Who just happens to make my whole life better. Who just happened to bring me back from the dead. She saved my life. The wait for her at this point seems like a small price.
Hold on to your hopes girls. The pain you feel will leave you someday. You NEVER know what is right ahead of you. My prayers are with you that your wait will be over very, very, very soon.
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