Saturday, December 6, 2008

Somewhere in between.

I have been having a strange pattern of feelings this cycle. I am absolutely fine MOST of the time. Even today at my niece's baby shower, I felt sincere happiness for her and even oohed and aahed at the adorable things she got. I was so surprised at myself. I couldn't believe how well I dealt with the whole day. I wonder if this strength will stick.

Now this is not to say that I don't get down. It hits me out of nowhere. Does everyone feel this way? Like driving along and you remember that you are infertile. And then the deep sadness.

I am somewhere in between with my emotions, but in between is way better than I was before.

On another note, I had a book club with my friends last night. It was a lot of fun! I am really encouraging others to get one started. It seems hard the older you get to make time to see your friends. With a book club, people put out effort and prepare for it and make a serious attempt to be there. Oh, and reading is never a bad thing too!


Emily said...

In between is the best way to describe it. This time of year is especially hard and it seems to hit more often than not.

I am so glad to hear the shower went well - kudos to you for your strength.

I miss my book club :(

Jill said...

Book clubs are great! In between is not such a bad thing...and to ditto Emily-kudos on your strength to attend the shower. I'm proud of you!