Thursday, January 8, 2009

Is nowhere safe?

I seriously wonder why pregnancy and children are so in my face in the past few weeks. I feel like every corner I turn, I am hit with a new pregnancy. I don't know why, but babies being born isn't quite as hard. Maybe because babies are what they stinking cute and such a happy occasion. Maybe also because I can't start envying babies until the pregnancy thing happens.

Anyway, the new place where I feel bombarded with baby news is....Facebook. I enjoy going on it and I feel like I am better in touch with the lives of the people I know in such a convenient way. Ok fine I love the stalking too. But I am realizing that EVERY time I go on anymore, I am seeing one announcement after another of a new pregnancy. COme on man. I could be a detective at this point because I can detect "prego" talk just by vague comments. The other thing is that I see so many of my friends having playdates. It seems unfair that my friends are getting to spend time and meet up pretty often because they have the eternal common ground of motherhood. I just saw my best friend commenting on an old college friend about her brand new pregnancy. She got married 2 months ago. Like..... taking..... a..... bullet.

I swear it almost takes my breathe away. Then I say, Get over it B! It's always there though. Obviously, because I have been complaining about it every day this week. I miss the sweet distraction of the holidays! When I was busy and excited and not at all focused on IF. I didn't even shed a tear when I got my period the day before new year's eve. Not one. I was too wrapped up in the parties and such. But the parties are over, I just passed my one year mark (January 7) of my first chemical pregnancy and the year stretched out ahead of me feels long. I even put off ordering a dress for my brother's wedding(I'm a bridesmaid) because I thought I could be pregnant and I need time to see what size I'll need. Oh man what a wishful thinker. Now I just hope I get to order a smaller size.

An odd thing. Of course I remember all the dates of my early preg. losses and they all have a 7 and are on birthdays of loved ones as well as St. Patrick's day. Jan. 7, March 17, July 7. Seven is NOT my lucky number. I hate 7.

Lots of rambling here today but I must admit I feel better! Got it all out. Until tomorrow!

1 comment:

Kim said...

Oh man, the ones that get knocked up right off the honeymoon are the freaking worst. I am sending you good vibes for tomorrow.