Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I can't Stand it

I need to let it out.

So, the reason I "knew" the other pregnancies were failing were because I lost all my symptoms over night. Literally, overnight. So I woke up this morning and my boobs don't hurt nearly as bad. I know people will say try to relax and everything else, but how can I when this is exactly what led to the demise of the others? I go in for my second beta tomorrow but I feel like I already know what the results will be. I did before. It's just impossible for me not to compare. I am so afraid that this is just another notch on my "loss belt." I just don't want to be sad again. It takes a lot out of me. I swear I wasn't myself again after the last one for many months. I want to avoid that almost as much as I want a baby.

Keep praying for me. I need it so much now.

2 comments:

Emily said...

Oh honey, you must be terrified. I am so sorry you are feeling syptomless. I am hoping and praying and wishing and sending all kinds of good vibes your way. Please let this little one stick...

HUGS

jessica56 said...

I am sorry that you are having so much stress right now- it is completely understandable. I will keep you in my thoughts and pray for a sticky sticky baby!

Hugs!